The Chocolates

I had just been appointed.

It was September 2015, and I was still new enough to believe that being new was an event.

So I bought chocolates.

There was no ceremony planned. No announcement. I simply thought someone might come to my office. A colleague might open the door, say welcome, sit for a few minutes, ask where I had worked before, perhaps tell me something about the department.

It seemed reasonable to have something to offer.

I placed the chocolates in my room and waited.

Nobody came.

The day passed quietly. So did the next one. The chocolates remained where I had left them, looking increasingly unnecessary.

I felt slightly foolish for buying them.

By the end of the week, I understood that there would be no welcoming ritual. This was fine. Adults do not need ceremonies for everything. Perhaps everyone was busy. Perhaps this was simply how things worked here.

I left for the weekend.

On Monday morning, I unlocked my office and entered.

The chocolates were gone.

Not some of them.

All of them.

For a few seconds I stood there looking at the empty place where they had been.

It was a strangely perfect introduction.

Nobody had found the time to come in while I was there. Nobody had wanted a chocolate badly enough to say hello.

But in my absence, the problem had somehow solved itself.

I tried to imagine the scene.

Had one person eaten them all? Had several people entered separately? Had the box travelled through the corridor? Was there a quiet agreement that unattended chocolate belonged to the institution?

I never found out.

And after a while, I understood that finding out would have ruined the story.

The chocolates had performed their duty after all. I had bought them to learn something about the people around me.

I simply had the wrong idea about how the lesson would be delivered.

Years later, I barely remember what kind of chocolates they were.

But I remember the empty box.

There are places that introduce themselves with a welcome speech.

Others introduce themselves more efficiently.

Mine ate the chocolates.